A Mystical Experience
Xu Jinsheng
I was staying at a hotel in south of China
at the end of October in the year 2000, It was still very
hot though it's already getting a little cooler, I had
to leave the air conditioner on and the windows shut to
get asleep.
For several days, I was deeply immersed in the great joy
of spiritual communication of mind and soul. This is an
ultimate state and one of the greatest meaning of human
life which I had been longing for a long time.
At midnight I fell into sleep dazedly but woke up again
at three, a question about love with the girl suddenly
flashed through my mind.
When you really love someone, you will wish to make this
relationship everlasting and associate your entire life
with her. You will indefinitely expand the relationship
and imagine all the possibilities with her. While at the
same time, you could be sad for your imperfections and
dreaming if only you could be younger, richer, more handsome
and even smarter …… but these "imperfections"
never threaten you before when you are alone.
Happiness is always watched and abided by misfortune,
which is seeking every opportunity to penetrate into your
heart.
In my heart, a bitterness of loss and disappointment was
springing out from the already exsiting sense of fulfillment.
My self was obscuring again and a sense of bewilderness
was eroding my value.
For her reason, I came up with this question: when I was
in love with a woman, should I let her know my male friends
naturally? If this friend tried to win her over, they
might feel better when they were together, and she would
turn away from me. This question pricked and tortured
me so much that I could not sleep any more. It was an
unavoidable headache that I encountered with and my life
can not be ideal without this question solved.
At about five o'clock, my mind slowly crept to this point:
The evolution of life lies in the increase of spirituality,
as Ken Wilber said. The deeper in the depth, the narrower
in the width and span. Scarce always means the value,
and the scarcest thing in this world is the love of Jesus.
Jesus love everybody but requires no rewards.
At this time I was suddenly enlighted.
For a long time, I have a question about Jesus. I can
admit He is a complete God, but He is not a complete human
man, the reason is very simple: there is no woman in His
life. This puzzle certainly set up an uncomfortable barrier
between us. But now, the puzzle has completely disappeared,
He does not need any repay for His love and remains single,
for all His energy has sublimed. Only those who has obtained
great spirituality and greatest power can arrive at this
level.
If the woman I love can make a better couple with my male
friend, why can't I help them to realize their wish?
Does that mean I lose her if I do so? It is true I "lost
"her, but at the same time I had got an extream good
warmth circling around my body. I realized as an individual
I was in a every special state, I could feel I was nearer
and nearer to Jesus, I was so near to Him and I could
feel He was already in my life, His life was in mine now……
My thought jumped from Jesus to Buddha, He was also a
man with infinite power within, he was enlightened by
the God to save the human race, he is also one of my last
spiritual support. And then , Li Na came to my mind, she
was one of the best singer in China but made herself a
nun at the peak of her singing career. While I was thinking
Li Na, I suddenly had an impulse to listen to her Qingzang
Plateau, I wanted to re-experience the passion of standing
on the climax of the Mountain, and her great artistic
mood of the harmony between the Man and the Heaven.
While at the time I was eagerest to listen to this song,
I suddenly had an intuition that miracle was about to
happen, I knew I was going to create miracle, the tuition
was so great accompanied by a surging warmth and energy
and a great confidence.
It's unbelievable! At the moment I became conscious of
all this, the music began! It started with the first sentence,
"Ya la so. Ah ……" that is QingZang Plateau,
that is the song for the QingZang Plateau, it streamed
into my ears so clear and real.
……
"Who brought the calling of long time ago?
Who left the expectations of thousand years?
Who is looking into the blue sky?
Who is longing for the eternal dream? "
……
Ah! Music, wonderful music! Magic music , for many times
, it is music that take my soul up to universe!
Ah! Music! How generous you give me so much courage and
comforts!
Ah! Music! You escort me to reach the rim of great esctacy
of heaven.
The tone color of Li Na is the trinity of
the wide ,bright and deep, her voice is penetrating up
to the sky, eager to transcending……
The miracle came to me like a lightening
and I was unprepared for that. Is that dreaming ? Am I
somnambulating? I got off the bed right off and walked
to the window.
I am a doubter of any kind of supernatural
power, even including Chinese Qigong, I have never seen
anyone who possesses supernatural power, though some times
I had peak experience but never mystical one. I believe
science, so I always ask many "whys" to find
out the truth.
Maybe we are used to suffering to much,
so we are already numb to those suffering, when happiness
suddenly show up, we are prone to ask:" Is it real"?
I can not remember the exact time, when I opened the window
I found it was still dark though it's getting a little
brighter. It was not the time for the hurly-burly of the
city.(below the window was a parking lot.)
After my opening the window, the song could be heard a
little clearer, but no way to find out where it came from.
I turned on the TV to search the channels. It was still
earlier and there was no program on most of the channels.
And I was sure that was not from the next door.
I stopped hunting for the source of the music, because
I was so overjoyed to have this wonderful feeling, in
order to take this gift from heaven, I hurried to turn
off the TV and closed the window. The music was still
on and clearer and purer, I silently enjoyed this mystical
moment. Let myself flow away together with music, tears
running down ……
How I can explain this mystical experience?
I had talked with some of my friends about it, they suggested
me to explain it in this way:
When Li Na sang this song, she was sending her messages
to the universe, and the messages was still waving to
and fro even when the song was over. They still existed
somewhere. When I felt so near to Jesus, I obtained this
great energy which has the function of making the time
reverse, space dense and recollecting the lost messages.
So even though the music was not from TV or next door,
it was somewhere in the space, maybe far away. My great
energy obtained this message.
There is no strict distinction between human and God,
hut human also possess the nature of God which can be
opened out.
I have received some feedback from my friends with whom
I shared this experience. And one of them is from the
respectable theologist and philosopher He Guanghu. He
thinks this is not only a coincidence, but if it is ,the
probability is so small, just like a monkey plays the
piano and the moonlight by Beethoven could be played out
if indefinately times was added. He asked the details
of the my experience, and said with emotion: very convincing!
I think you are very special person.
I am still puzzled, is it possible this is a coincidence?
It just happened the song was broadcasting on the radio?
Do I need to make a further investigation?
I am looking forward to other responses.
Xu Jinsheng, Prof , Working in Beijing Academy
of Social Sciences
xujinsheng2003@yahoo.com.cn
Address:
PRC
100101
北京市北四环中路33号
北京市社会科学院 应用心理学研究中心
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